


Insomnia (One of those nights)

by AndrewIsBored



Series: SKZ Oneshots [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomnia, Insomniac Bang Chan, Insomniac author, Light Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Yang Jeongin | I.N is a Sweetheart, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrewIsBored/pseuds/AndrewIsBored
Summary: Chan was used to lectures about the importance of sleep, just as used to it as he was used to his friends sending concerned looks at the bags under his eyes. He was also used to telling everyone that he was fine. But, in all honesty, he was beginning to accept that, no, he wasn’t fine, not really. He was used to not sleeping, but that didn’t mean it affected him any less.He had tossed and turned and tucked himself into his blankets for hours before he finally accepted that it was just one of those nights. One of those nights when no matter how tired you felt, no matter how much exercise you did that day, no matter how comfortable your bed was, and no matter how much Sleepy Time Chamomile Tea you drank, sleep was just not going to happen. He knew those nights well, he’d come to accept them...Chan can't sleep, Jeongin to the rescue
Relationships: Bang Chan & Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: SKZ Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810108
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74





	Insomnia (One of those nights)

To be fair, Chan really should be used to this.

Sleep, a vital and necessary component to human function. So important in fact, his parents often reminded him, that the cost of sleep deprivation resulted in wonderful things such as weakened immunity, high blood pressure, increased risk of heart disease, and his favorite, death. Death, from not sleeping. Fun.

Chan was used to lectures about the importance of sleep, just as used to it as he was used to his friends sending concerned looks at the bags under his eyes. He was also used to telling everyone that he was fine. But, in all honesty, he was beginning to accept that, no, he wasn’t fine, not really. He was used to not sleeping, but that didn’t mean it affected him any less.

He had tossed and turned and tucked himself into his blankets for hours before he finally accepted that it was just one of those nights. One of those nights when no matter how tired you felt, no matter how much exercise you did that day, no matter how comfortable your bed was, and no matter how much Sleepy Time Chamomile Tea you drank, sleep was just not going to happen. He knew those nights well, he’d come to accept them. 

At about two am, he got out of bed and carefully made his way into the kitchen. After realising that he wasn’t going to sleep that night, he figured it was time to start his “I can’t sleep routine”. He dug around the pantry for a few minutes before settling for a chocolate granola bar, and he sat on the kitchen counter to eat it. The only light in the room came from the bulb over the stovetop, which someone had forgotten to turn off. He ate silently in the dark, staring absentmindedly into the hallway until he finished his Insomnia Snack.

He tossed the wrapper in the trash on his way to the living room, picking up his laptop from the coffee table as he sat on the couch.  _ Might as well get some work done _ , he thought dejectedly, turning on his computer. He groaned as light pierced his eyes, and quickly turned down the brightness of the screen, blinking away the dots in his eyes. He shook his head to himself and opened up a new google doc, ready to work.

Ten minutes later, the blank document seemed to glare at him, the blinking black line tauntingly accompanying. He sighed deeply, rubbing his closed eyes with his palms and leaning into the couch. He just wanted to  _ sleep _ , he felt tears prick his eyes as he began to stare at the ceiling. It was stupid, he thought, he felt like a helpless child, he should be used to this, he should be able to sleep like a normal human fucking being. And yet, there he was, in the middle of the living room, crying in front of an empty google doc with granola crumbs on his shirt. Pathetic.

He didn’t bother to wipe the tears away, he was frustrated. He felt a tired, exhausted anger inside him. He wanted to scream, to punch the wall and break the windows and throw his stupid fucking laptop off the balcony. But he just cried some more instead, his arms limp at his sides. He couldn’t even fight anymore, his anger that usually brought fire to his veins now burned his eyes instead. He just wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him and  _ fix _ it. 

“Chan-hyung?” 

He wiped his tears away at the speed of light as he quickly sat up, staring at the figure that had just entered the room. “Jeongin? What are you doing up, you should be sleeping.”

“So should you.” Jeongin retorted, walking over to him. His hair was up in every direction imaginable, and he had his arms crossed over his chest, cradling a small blanket. “Why are  _ you _ up?”

Chan sighed, rubbing his eyes again. “I couldn’t sleep…”

Jeongin nodded, but didn’t speak. He stared at his hyung for a few moments instead, trying to gauge how bad it was. Chan’s eyes were red and swollen, dark bags pulling at them, he had clearly been crying, and it looked like he’d been pulling at his hair again. He resisted the urge to frown at his hyung’s state, instead, he plopped down next to him on the couch, leaning into his side.

“It’s okay, hyung, you can cry.” He whispered, and with those delicate words, Chan began to sob.

“I’m sorry.” He blubbered, Jeongin shushed him, and hugged his side as best he could.

“Shut up, you have nothing to be sorry for.” He promised, letting Chan wrap his arms around him tightly. He’d never been one for physical affection, but Chan definitely was, and he needed him.

He let Chan cry into his shoulder for as long as he needed to, rubbing his back and whispering some, hopefully, encouraging words. Eventually, his hyung pulled away, sniffling and wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, now feeling awkward,  _ he _ was supposed to be the hyung,  _ he _ was supposed to be the one comforting the maknae, not the other way around. Said maknae seemed to realise his train of thought, and he placed a hand on Chan’s shoulder, looking him in the eye.

“You’ve always taken care of all of us, Chan hyung, now let me take care of you for once.” Jeongin closed his laptop and set it aside as he spoke, then stood up and held his hand out to Chan. 

He sighed and let Jeongin help him up, nearly falling over from dizziness as he did, he  _ really _ needed to sleep. Jeongin led him into his room, and gently pushed him onto his bed, pulling the covers over him before laying down as well. Chan closed his eyes as Jeongin settled into the bed, turning onto his side to drape an arm across Chan. 

“If you ever tell a single soul about this, I will play  _ Wow _ at your funeral.” The maknae said gravely, setting his head on his hyung’s chest, Chan snorted.

“You have my word.” He promised, resting a hand over Jeongin’s wrist. “Thank you…”

“Shut up and sleep.” Jeongin scolded tiredly, though not an ounce of malice was present in his words. 

Chan smiled to himself at his words, and slowly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, _ it can’t hurt to try again _ . He tried to keep his eyes closed, when a soft voice began to sing next to his heart, and he opened them.

“ _ You fell down, it’s alright, I’ll pick you up… _ ” Jeongin’s eyes were closed as he sang, making sure he was just loud enough for Chan to hear him, but quiet enough not to wake anyone.

“ _ Did you worry a lot? No no no, it’s your first time. That’s ok, everyone does that... _ ” Chan listened as Jeongin changed the rap to a soft lullaby, and his eyes closed on their own accord.

“ _ It’s alright, we just need to go through it and grow, don’t cry...”  _ Chan’s mind began to clear as the melody continued,  _ Grow Up  _ had always held a special place in his heart.

“ _ You’re doing fine, you’re doing fine. Have strength, just endure a little more... _ ” His breaths became slower and more steady while Jeongin sang, his entire body relaxing into the warm bed.  _ Everything will be fine _ .

Jeongin sang until the gentle hold of sleep pulled Chan into dreamland, and he began to softly snore. He smiled at the sound, and lifted his head to peek at his sleeping face, he was out like a light. He let his head fall gently back down, and he closed his own eyes as he pulled the blanket up to his chin, and snuggled into Chan’s side.

“Goodnight, hyung.” He slurred quietly, and with that, he too fell asleep.

Chan had insomnia, but he also had a family, a family that loved him. And that family, that  _ love _ , was far stronger than his demons could ever wish to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the summer of 2019 in my uncle's camper in his backyard. Finished it at 3:33 am. We were visiting on vacation and I got the camper to myself because there wasn't another guest bedroom. I've always had trouble sleeping because of my disorders, and that night was an example of that. I wrote this to kind of vent, a lot of the things Chan does in this fic are things that I do when I can't sleep, and some of the thoughts as well. Especially the grabbing a granola bar and trying to work thing (Which is exactly what I was doing as I wrote this). Idk, this fic is simple, but it's kinda special to me, I got a lot of my feelings and thoughts out here. I can't remember if I eventually wound up sleeping or not, but I think it was worth it this time. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed :)


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